Week 7: The Emotional Rollercoaster of Running

Thursday July 15th: Girl Get Your Mind Right

Let me start this post by saying I do not have PMS, this is genuinely how I felt about my training last week and please remember that I'm only human and have a breaking point like everyone else. On the off days from group training session (GTS) it's so hard to get motivated to run, especially after work. We've already established that I'm not a morning person so that leaves me to do my alone runs in the evenings. The problem with running at night is that you know the day is coming to a close and this is the one task that's standing between you and relaxation. However, morning, noon or night I've been struggling since I began this process with learning how to be present in my run. When I went on my yoga retreat in June, the instructor talked about different forms of meditation and he noted that running is a physical form of meditation. I thought oh that's why people go running to "clear their heads" or "burn off stress". I googled running as meditation and found and article from the May issue of runnersworld magazine called How To Meditate When Running (Or How I Learned To Love Running Without My iPod). The article briefly describes the goals and process of meditative running.:

Meditative running, is an extension of the basic meditation practice that is performed while sitting on a cushion, which teaches you to keep your mind focused on your breathing, or following each breath as it flows out of your lungs. When your mind becomes distracted by other thoughts, you acknowledge it and return your focus to your breath. "Through meditation we learn to relax and yet be keenly aware of our moment to-moment sensations, thoughts, and the world around us," Pratt says. "We set an intention to let go of daydreaming, fantasizing, and problem solving. By letting go of thoughts and coming back to our immediate physical experience, we find that our body so" ens and our mind feels lighter, more joyful."

After I read the article (particlularly this exert) I was positive that this would never be me. I generally have the same thought that repeats in my mind the whole time that I'm running: "just get this over with and then you can go (fill in the blank)". The blank could be go relax, go finish some work, go out, go hang out my friends, go get my hair and nails done, etc. The other repetitive thought is usually a "to do" list. For those that don't know me I thrive off of "to do" list, I feel so good when I can cross something off of my list. The point is I would like to find some mental balance that would make my running, well less miserable. The thoughts that currently go through my mind when I run are not getting the job done. Sometimes I try to give myself the "eye of the tiger" speech, but mental cheerleading only goes but so far. I'm running for a cause, which helps and is inspiring. I have all of you behind me, which helps and surprises me everyday that so many people believe in me. But I have to be honest, sometimes when I run I think to myself "I do not feel like doing this today." This is a darker side of my training that I'm just now revealing to you all. But I promised the good, the bad, and the ugly of this experience so there you have it.

Thursday night was just one of those days when I just didn't feel like doing it. BUT I got into my running gear at about 8pm, sat on my couch (fully dressed by the way) and weighed my options. After about two minutes of thinking it though, I walked out the door for my run. It wouldn't be a total loss, I had a new gadget my interval timer watch! This allows me to time my run and recovery strategy. The first interval I would run for 5 minutes and in the second interval I would recover for a minute, the alarms repeat which allow you to repeat the cycle. I ultimately would like to run 10 and 1(run / recovery) for the marathon, but need to build up to that.


I jogged about seven blocks to the beginning of the promenade at Remsen street, I jogged onto the promenade and immediately felt good about my decision to run that night. If you have not seen the views from the Brooklyn promenade put it on your "to do"list. I've lived in BK Heights for 81/2 months now and I still fall in love every time I see it. However, I quickly got over the view and became frustrated, everyone was out having a good time:date night, family night, friends hanging out and here I was trying to master a 5 and 1 strategy. I missed hanging out with my friends, seeing my family, and going on dates. Lately I felt like all I did was work and run. Then that popular thought popped in my head "just get this over with and you can...."


I stopped at the park under the Manhattan bridge (and took the above picture with my iPhone 4...oh yeah that's no postcard), I love sitting there and looking at the city behind the BK bridge, it's a good "thinking" spot. It dawned on me that training for this race was becoming like a second job and like anything new I had to find a way to balance it with the rest of my life. It's not just the time I spend running, it's the toll it takes on my body and my mind. I'm constantly tired, not sure what I should be eating half the time (although I'm getting better with that), and feeling torn between my social life, me running life and my work life. This process also makes you very competitive with yourself I constantly feel like I have to runner longer that I did the last time and when I don't I get really frustrated. Plus, for a non runner, do you know how much mental energy and will power it takes to psych yourself up and say "yes! we're running 7 miles today in 90+ degree weather on a Saturday morning I can't wait!"? As a matter of fact try it right now...exactly it doesn't even sound right. I kept thinking that there's has to be a better way! But there isn't it's just hard, that's why less than 2% of world population either have or will ever complete a marathon in their lifetime.


I got up dusted myself off and reset my watch. As I ran home I realized that I needed a break from this. Just like I can't not show up to work, I can't stop training and expect that I'll be able to complete this race. So I decided I needed some PTO from training (PTO is the code my company uses for vacation days)....I had a great time on my PTO Friday I went out to celebrate my friend Cheryl's birthday. I missed GTS on Saturday morning and didn't even entertain the idea of running on my own.Our GTS Saturday was a race in Central Park, you already know how I feel about CP so it didn't take much for me to ex that out of my schedule. I spent the better part of Sunday at a BBQ with my friends and definitely didn't think about running. I had a great time over the weekend and felt like a new person when I showed up for GTS on Tuesday. Like anything in life if you over do it you'll burn out, balancing training with other elements of my life is important because it keeps me sane when I get back out there. I seriously need to take a time out and get my mind right. I can't emphasize this enough the mental element of this is a hundred times harder that the physical, it takes a strong mental state not to quit. I have gained a new respect for athletes around the world not only for there's physical abilities but the mental endurance to compete at an elite level, because if your mind aint right your body won't fight!

What Did I Learn About Running That Day?

1) Despite all of my above complaining the interval watch is the bomb guys...the run/recovery strategy is where it's at for the novice runner!
2) Training breaks are good and totally acceptable (I asked my coaches and they approve). It's also better to take a break early on in the training versus right before the race
3) Building up your mental endurance is just as important as building your physical endurance



Tuesday July 20th: 400 Meters and a Twinkie

During Tuesday GTS we did another effort drill, 400 Meter repeats with 400 meter recovery. Basically we would run fast (somewhere between a jog and a sprint) for 400 meters and recover for 400 meters (FYI 400 meter is a quarter mile in case you were wondering). I have to tell you I underestimate the Tuesday training every time. When we did the effort drills the first time the distance we ran for the repeats was much shorter, so that's what I was mentally prepared for. BUT doing this for 400 meters was rough! I counted and we did 5 repeats so we covered a little over 2 miles.

I learned something new about myself on Tuesday, I have bad running form. One of the coaches pulled me to the side after a sprint and helped me work on my form. At first everything she was saying was a blur because I could barely breathe. But once I caught my breath I was able to correct my form. I tried to correct my form during my next sprint and it was super uncomfortable. Then my mentor Suzy gave me good advice she said "just point the 'girls' out when you run and you'll have perfect form" (oh and she has a British accent by the way which made her comment even funnier). I'll have to remember the boob thing when I run from now on.


As part of this process I have to raise $3.900 for the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society. If you haven't already done so please click on the Team In Training icon on the right hand side of the screen and donate. Fundraising is not easy so my mentor thought it would be good to have all of her mentees get together and brainstorm about fundraising ideas. She owns a restaurant in Park Slope called the Chip Shop so we all headed over there after practice....Well the specialty of the Chip Shop is fried food. We had fried everything! Fried Mac & cheese, fish & chips, fried pizza and that was just dinner.Then for desert we had fried twix, fried snickers, and the best of them all fried twinkies! Needless to say we quickly replaced all the calories we burned during practice, but I didn't care it was fun getting to know my teammates and the fried twinkie was totally worth the calories!


What Did I Learn About Running That Day?


1) Sticking your boobs out while you run helps improve your form
2) 400 meters is a long way to sprint...this is why I did not run track in high school
3) Don't knock fried twinkie until you try them

Tune in next week to hear all about my run to Coney Island...Yay!!!! (That's sarcasim for those of you who don't speak my language)